Down Pad 4
Disrespect / Sammy
Disrespect
Several weeks later, Denny and Jake had settled into their own routines.
Denny sat at his desk in his room in the barracks. They were back from dinner at the mess hall, and Jake was reading on his Notepad. He’d be going out tonight, probably. He usually did on Friday evening. Denny used to like that because it gave him the room to himself until Jake got back at lights out. But lately, Budd had been showing up.
Yup. A quick tap on the door and Budd walked right in. He didn’t even stop and ask anymore.
“Hi, Denny,” Budd said, perfunctorily.
Denny looked up and nodded at him. Jake had made it clear that it was not acceptable to ignore people who came into the room, especially if they greeted you. He’d even been working on his “resting bitch face,” but he was pissed off by the interruption, so he didn’t even attempt what passed for a smile from him.
The smile left Budd’s face for a moment, before he turned to Jake and it came back. “So, um, going to the Down Pad tonight?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Why don’t you come, too?”
Budd sighed. “No money.”
“Spent it all on your Ural?” asked Jake.
“Yup. Had to replace the steering damper.”
“You know if I had any, I’d spot you some….”
“Sure,” said Budd. “I did what I wanted to. So I have to stay in tonight. Except you know Kameel came back with his girlfriend.”
Jake nodded and Denny looked angry.
“So hang out in the common room,” said Denny, turning his desk chair around.
Once again, the smile left Budd’s face. “It’s already full,” he said. “They’re doing something. I just need a place to hang for a while until Kameel and Hannah head out. I brought my Notepad. I’ll be quiet.”
Denny looked at Jake. He had a serious look on his face and made a horizontal cutting motion. That meant,
“Cut it out. Go along with this.”
Denny looked down and took a couple of breaths. When he looked up again, he wasn’t smiling but the bitch face was gone.
“Look,” said Budd, still not smiling. “If it’s too much trouble –.”
“What are you going to be doing on your Notepad?” interrupted Denny. His concentration was broken anyway, and he was curious. Budd always had his phone or his roachpad, like everyone else, but not usually his Notepad.
The smile started to come back to Budd’s face. The question was abrupt, but any attempt at conversation at all meant Denny was trying.
“There’s this intro to algorithms course I’m trying to do for my personal checklist,” he said, then quickly added, “But I’m not asking for any help.”
“Let me see,” said Denny, reaching for the Notepad.
Budd handed it to him before he could actually grab it out of his hand.
Denny looked at it and nodded. “They’re doing it right,” he said. “You picked a good one.”
At that, Budd’s smile came all the way back. It was the first positive comment he’d ever gotten from Jake’s antisocial roommate.
“Let me see how you did that last exercise,” said Denny, starting to swipe to the next page, but Budd grabbed it out of his hand.
“No,” he said. “I told you, I don’t need your help.”
“Look, you already screwed up what I was doing before. Let me –.”
The smile fled Budd’s face again. “Fuck you!” said Budd and headed for the door.
Denny looked after him and stood up. “Look, Budd, I’m sorry,” he said. “I – I – don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry.”
Budd looked back at him with a look of pure disbelief and huffed out a breath. But stopped. And forced himself to turn around.
“If you don’t want me to help,” said Denny, “that’s okay.”
“Did I really screw you up?” asked Budd, quietly.
“You broke my concentration,” Denny answered. “I’m not sure if I can get it back right away. It kind of… hurts… when it’s that strong and then I get cut off. So I need to do something else now.”
“Johnson’s like that,” said Budd. “I’m sorry. It’s an IT thing, isn’t it?”
“Well,” said Denny, “not exactly. It’s common in IT, but it’s just the way I am. And… looking at your stuff would be ‘something else.’”
“You mean… it could actually help you… to talk to me right now?”
Denny nodded.
“Okay,” said Budd. “But… you know… I’m not as smart as you are. And I don’t need any grief about what I fuck up, okay? Can you do that?”
“I’ll… try,” Denny answered.
“Good,” said Budd, handing him the Notepad back. “If you can’t do it, I’ll just sit here and look at the Motocross clips, okay?”
Denny took the Notepad and swiped to the exercise. He was talking to Budd and didn’t notice when Jake slipped out.
When he got to the Down Pad, Jake glanced around until he saw where Yael was sitting, then headed over. Usually Sammy, who was her housemate, was with her, but he didn’t see her at the moment.
Yael stood up and gave Jake a hug, then they both sat down. “Sammy’s on the dance floor again.”
Jake looked where Yael indicated and saw Sammy “dancing” very close with someone, who looked to be in his thirties. Who had his hands all over her.
“No one treats her badly,” said Yael, “but no one is ever interested in anything long-term, either.”
When Sammy came back to the table with her dance partner, Jake and Yael were eating burgers and sweet potato fries. Jake had a pint of one of the beers on tap, and Yael had a Sprite.
“This is Pete,” she said, giggling as she sat down. “He’s a tech sergeant.”
Pete sat down. “So, Sammy,” he said, waving for the waitress. “What can I get you?”
They ordered drinks and burgers and made conversation for a while. Then Jake and Yael got up to dance.
Jake held Yael very close, too, but his hands didn’t roam over her body like the other slow dancers and they didn’t kiss. And when the music sped up, they tried some moves from the dance class they were taking. Jake got tangled up and Yael tripped and almost fell. They went back to the table, breathless and laughing. But when they sat down, Jake and Yael looked at Sammy’s place at the table. It was cleared and her jacket was gone. Sammy wasn’t just in the game room in the back.
The waitress stopped by. “I’ll get this,” said Yael, and she ordered them drinks, decaf coffee for herself and another beer for Jake, and a piece of chocolate cake for both of them to share.
“How are you doing on your mechanics class?” she asked.
“Pretty good. Budd’s a natural. He lets me work on his bike,” Jake answered. “And I can drive the transporter and the high-rail truck. Next I’ll be working on the cranes. IT’s going to be the toughest nut to crack. I thought I was pretty advanced back at school, but I’m nothing special here.
“So how’s it going with your kids?”
Yael told him about the children she was working with in speech therapy.
They were just having another drink, Jake now moving from beer to decaf coffee himself, when Sammy came back into the pub and came to the table.
“Hey, Yael,” she said, with a forced smile, “I look like shit. Help me fix my makeup?”
Yael got up and went with her to the bathroom.
Jake just looked down at the table. This was a bad one, when they brought her back to the pub, especially so fast. The good ones at least took her home, or came back into the pub with her, afterwards.
When she came back to the table, her makeup was good again, but Jake could see that she’d been crying.
“Sammy,” he asked. “Would you like to dance?”
He took her out on the dance floor, holding her, but at arm’s length, looking in her eyes and smiling. As she moved with him, her usual good spirits returned. It was nice to dance with someone who just wanted to dance, not anything else. Not that she minded the “anything else,” but that wasn’t enough. It hadn’t been enough for some time now.
When Jake got back to the room later that evening, there was still half an hour to lights out and Budd was still there, sitting next to Denny and looking at the screen.
Budd looked up. “Hey, Jake,” he said, grinning, but then his face went more somber when he saw the look on Jake’s face. He could guess the reason.
Denny looked over at Jake, too. “Look at this,” he said, a rare smile on his face. “We didn’t just go through the exercise. We advanced a whole level on Final Fantasy – Namesake.”
“It’s been fun,” Budd said. “Think I better head back now, though.” And before Denny could say anything else, Budd was gone, and the door was all the way shut.
Denny looked at Jake, confused. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No, no,” said Jake. “Budd just noticed… well, tonight wasn’t as good as it could have been.”
Denny looked at Jake’s face. Jake hardly ever looked upset to him about anything. He still didn’t, now. But Budd had seen something. Or heard something.
“Yael?” he asked, the only thing he could think of.
“No, no,” said Jake, again. “We’re still good, really good. It’s Sammy.”
“What happened?”
“A car fuck,” said Jake. “The guy didn’t even bother to come back into the pub.”
“Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am,” said Denny, grinning.
“Den,” said Jake. “Shut the fuck up. It’s not funny. She’s hurting.”
“But that’s what she does,” said Denny, serious.
Jake sighed. “Yeah, it is, and it’s really stupid. She needs to find someone who’ll look past her body, but she’s stuck.”
“Um, Jake,” said Denny. “She still dresses the same, right?”
“So?”
“Well, it’s kind of hard for anyone to look past her body when she dresses like that,” he said. “I mean, maybe not for you, but the rest of us….”
“And would you take her out and treat her like a lady if she dressed different?” Jake pushed, sarcastic. “The slut?”
“Maybe,” said Denny, without thinking.
“Really?” asked Jake, unbelieving.
Then they got ready for bed. Jake seemed to fall asleep as soon as he hit the bottom bunk, but Denny laid on his back on the top bunk and stared at the ceiling for a while, before he finally closed his eyes.
Sammy
The next day was Saturday. Denny was sitting at his desk programming again when Jake came into the room with Yael and Sammy.
He dutifully turned his chair to face the newcomers and responded when they said hello. His eyes fixed on Sammy’s boobs for a second before he forced them up to her face.
“You sure you don’t want to come with us?” asked Jake. “Budd’s bringing his Ural and Jordan will be there with her Harley.”
Denny actually paused for a moment. He had started getting into motorcycles, even taking some instruction from Budd, but he wasn’t confident yet and in front of others, especially women….
“No, thanks,” he said, shaking his head.
Meanwhile, Sammy had come over to his desk and looked at his screen.
“What’s that?” she asked, pointing to what looked like a dragon.
“Never mind,” he said. He minimized the window and turned away from her.
“I can draw a better one,” she said.
He brought the window back up, still keeping his back resolutely toward her. “I’m sure anyone could. I can’t draw. But I needed some placeholder for the game.”
“You’re programming a game?” she asked. “With dragons?”
He turned and looked at her. He was sitting and she was standing, leaning over him, so up, up to her face. And now his body was reacting and shit, he knew he was blushing. But he didn’t see mockery on her face. In fact, she had sounded impressed.
“Well, yes,” he said. “It’s a fantasy combat scenario, so nothing really new….”
“I’m really good at dragons,” she said. “Can I plug in?”
He stepped away from the desk and nodded. She plugged her phone in and threw her desktop onto his second screen. When she pulled up an image, his eyes went wide. “Whoa,” he said. “You did that?”
“Yes,” she said.
“So could you do the one I drew? Do you see what I was trying to do?”
“Sure,” she said, grinning, and even just looking at her face, he was blushing again. Not just from lust, but because women never smiled at him, ever. Well, his mother, and Yael, but they didn’t really count.
Jake and Yael exchanged looks.
“So, Sammy, are you still coming?” Yael asked, with a smile.
Denny’s face immediately clouded over. Of course, she had other plans.
“I’d rather stay here with Den,” she said, then looked straight at him. “You don’t mind, do you?”
Denny, hardly daring to breath, just shook his head.
“Sounds good,” said Yael.
“See you,” said Jake. He took Yael’s hand, and they walked out, leaving the door open.
After Sammy had drawn the first dragon to Denny’s specifications, she started on another one, but he just couldn’t calm down. He was physically aroused by her half naked body, which he could have handled if he wasn’t also emotionally aroused by working with her – a real artist – on his game. He needed to damp down the one or the other, and he wanted to keep her drawing.
“Just a second,” he said, instead of answering her last question. He went to his closet and pulled out a T-shirt. “Put this on, okay?”
She looked up at him. “You don’t like the way I look?”
He looked down at her. Her eyes, focus on the eyes. “I like it a lot. That’s why I want you to wear this.”
Then, instead of just putting the damn thing on, she came over to him, really close.
He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back. “Look,” he said, “do you wanna draw or do you wanna fuck?”
She smiled at him. “How about both?” she asked.
He gritted his teeth and glared at her. “Just put the fucking shirt on, okay? I don’t want to be another loser on your OnlyFans!”
All the breath went out of her then, and for a moment she looked ready to cry.
Fuck, he thought, how was this my fault? It always was, somehow.
But then, she seemed to change her mind, and just put on the shirt.
“So the next dragon is supposed to be amber?” she asked, sitting down.
“Yeah,” he said, sitting back down next to her.
They had been through all the dragons and some of his other creatures, when people started walking past the door on their way to lunch. They started to get wolf whistles and crude gestures from the doorway.
“I’d better take this off,” Sammy said, moving out of sight of the hall and pulling the shirt off.
Denny was well in control of himself by then, so he just said, “Okay. Do you think it’ll make any difference?”
She looked at him with a smile that somehow didn’t seem exactly like a smile. “Some. Unless you want them to think we really did have sex.”
Denny grimaced. “Oh, all I have to do is say that we didn’t. They’ll believe it. Everyone knows you’re… um, well, but… we’re talking about me, right? Even you wouldn’t….”
She looked at him as if she was going to be mad at him. But then, again, seemed to change her mind.
“I don’t have an OnlyFans page,” she said, calmly.
He bit his bottom lip and nodded his head. “So, it’s getting to be lunch. Do you want to… um, have lunch?”
“That sounds nice,” she said.
He took her to Chick-Fil-A and bought lunch and they ate inside. Then, at her suggestion, they went back to the barracks, she put his shirt back on, and they kept working until Jake and Yael got back.
When next Friday came around, Jake was getting ready to go out with Yael again. “Why don’t you come with us?” he asked Denny.
Denny actually paused the game and turned around to look at Jake before he answered. “I want to stay here. I like having time to myself.”
“Sammy will be there,” said Jake.
“So?” said Denny. “She’s not going to be drawing at the Down Pad. She just wants to hook up with someone.”
Jake gave him a look, but Denny soldiered on. “Look, I didn’t call her… anything. But you know I’m right. Why can’t I say it?”
“You really impressed her last weekend, you know,” Jake said.
“Don’t mess with me, Jake,” he said, bitch face back. “Especially about that. You know nothing happened, and if she’s saying something else….”
“That’s what impressed her,” Jake said. “Nothing happened. You turned her down.”
“So what? She thinks I’m queer?”
“No,” said Jake, “she thinks if you fuck, at least you’ll still be friends afterwards.”
“Friends?” said Denny. “She thinks we’re… friends?”
“Yeah, Denny,” he said. “Friends. Is it that hard to believe? You spent most of last weekend together. It looked like you two had a lot in common.”
“Look, man,” said Denny. “I’m trusting you. I mean that stuff about purity. And if she’s going to try to tempt me….”
“I’m… sorry, Denny,” said Jake. “Does that mean you can’t even go out with her at all? She’s not exactly a virgin.”
“That doesn’t matter,” said Denny. “I’m not either. It’s not what you were, it’s what you decide to be. I’m not like you, Jake. No one screwed up my life. I did it to myself.”
“Come on,” said Jake, “it’ll be fun. Here… wear your jeans and the Gadsen T-shirt.”
“Shouldn’t it be more than just jeans and a T-shirt?” asked Denny. “How about my church clothes?” His church clothes were a red plaid button down shirt and khaki trousers. And a bow tie.
“No,” Jake said. “Just… no. Look, you can polish your boots and… um… that cowboy hat you have isn’t too stupid. Wear that?”
“It isn’t stupid!” said Denny. “Budd wears one just like it, and he’s actually a Texan. For real.”
“Like I said,” said Jake. “It’s okay.”
“You said ‘not too stupid.’ That doesn’t mean ‘okay.’”
“Yes, it does,” said Jake. “You said you were going to trust me.”
Denny looked him in the eye, but Jake didn’t flinch, even when Denny hyper-focused.
“So do I pass your truth-beam?” Jake asked, when Denny finally broke eye contact.
“Yeah,” said Denny. “I guess you do.”
“Look,” said Jake, “I could be wrong about the hat, but if I am, you just take it off. It’s not that big of a deal. It really isn’t. Unless you make it one. And it… fits you. Cowboy hat, Gadsen T-shirt, polished boots. That’s you, Den.”
When Denny walked into the Down Pad with Jake and Budd, he was still uncertain about the black stetson. The hat had a thin black leather hat band that faded into the hat like Denny wished he could into the background of the pub. He looked over the usual collection of girls and guys looking to hook up.
He was used to ignoring that provocation. But at the table, he’d be face to face with the women. Yael was no problem at all, Jordan could be a little problematic, but the real problem would be Sammy. Not only did she wear the most revealing clothes of the three women, she was also the one he was sort of… what?… dating?
So yeah, be sure he kept it face to face.
The three of them headed over to where Yael and Sammy were sitting. Jordan was coming separately on her Harley and wasn’t there yet. Jake sat down next to Yael, and Budd took a chair next to Jake. Denny looked down at Sammy. Cute, curly hair, sweet warm brown eyes, bright red lipstick. No wait, not bright red, much more subdued. That was different from last time. So yeah, don’t look down further, but he did anyway and… stood there rooted to the floor.
Sammy looked up at him. “You don’t like it?” she said, when he didn’t come over to sit by her.
Denny shook his head as if to shake something off, and then said, “No, Sammy, I mean yes, I mean, you look awesome.”
Her top had a modest curved neckline, and somehow fitted her figure without being tight at all or scrunching her boobs up high and together. The fabric was also completely opaque and there was a nice pattern of some kind, brown and tan and white, that brought his eyes down to a ruffly thingy at her waist. He lifted his eyes back to her face, not to keep them off her chest this time, but because that’s where he wanted them to be.
Jake motioned him over. “Sit down,” he mouthed.
Denny sat down next to her.
“So, Sammy,” said Jake. “Looks like you could use a refill. What is that?” And he gave Denny a pointed look.
Oh, right. Drinks.
“Just a tonic water,” she said.
The waitress came over then. “Is that what you want then?” asked Denny.
Sammy nodded.
“Er, another tonic for Miz Sammy here,” he said, “and I’ll have a coke. Um… on my tab, please.”
“And two large orders of nachos for the table,” said Jake. “On mine.”
Latter that night, Jake’s usually taciturn roommate chattered in the car all the way back from the Down Pad, except for the few minutes it took to sign back into the barracks and walk up to their room. Then, once the door was closed, he started up again.
“She’s beautiful,” said Denny. “Did you see that?”
“I noticed,” Jake answered, for at least the tenth time.
“But I stepped on her foot when we were dancing. She was still limping a little bit when we left. That’s really bad. Dancing is out, I really can’t do that, I’m too much of a klutz.”
“Yael already let us know,” said Jake. “Nothing is broken, and they’ve got her foot on ice now. The swelling is going down really well. And you’re not a klutz. I saw you in boot camp. You just don’t know how to dance. Like I said, dancing classes at the Base Rec Center. You can even learn stuff besides slow dancing. Women like that stuff, and it’s more your style anyway.”
“I don’t have a style,” said Denny. “Unless it’s klutz style. So did you see how she was dressed? She’s beautiful.”
“I noticed,” Jake answered, for the eleventh time now. But he didn’t mind. Denny’s enthusiasm was contagious. Jake just kept repeating the same responses to the same statements as Denny seemed to be trying to convince himself that the evening had actually happened, and that it hadn’t been a disaster.